uncalled | IC ✦ Voicemail

You don't even know my Obaa-chan! [she probably smacked him a lot for being an overly hyperactive child]

But I mean, what's the point in learning from ancestors in 'great battles'? [using air quotes for that one!] If they're dead, that probably means they lost. Can't be that great. I'm just saying.

[SAKON LOGIC]

Does that mean you don't want to talk to her again?

[ sheesh, sakon. respect the dead. ]

... Are you serious? [ he kind of wants to hit sakon now. ] People learn from failures as well as victories. If their failure resulted in their death they've probably had time to realize what went wrong. Plus, what about the people who died honorably? Or the ones who lived through their battles and died peacefully? You wouldn't want to talk to any of them either?

[ where is a newspaper when you have to whack someone with it? ]

Well, not here at least. That'd be the worst status report ever. 'Sorry obaa-chan, I've been captured and now people are probably going to experiment on me soon. In fact it's probably not a good sign that I can communicate with you at all because that might mean that I'm dead!'

[he hasn't thought any of this through at all though, he's really just making it up as he goes

which is pretty obvious when he considers Sasuke's words.... and ponders them....]

But all their battles aren't that relevant anymore, you know? Like maybe I'd want to spar with them or something but I'm not cut out for the strategy talk anyway! Not that I need to be, since Hanbei-sama's a genius tactician anyway.

[aka he has almost no interest in intelligent conversation whatsoever]

[ oh wow, he answered. she... didn't think this far ahead. ]

I don't know. I guess I just... wanted to make sure you were still alive and stuff.

Well, you're going to come back anyway so it won't be too long a conversation.

[ ninja logic, whoop whoop.

also, what the-- god damnit, sakon. he just sighs and drags a hand over his face. ]

Any warrior who ever wants to improve would know not to think like that. You should never be satisfied by what you have already and always seek to improve or you're no good to your lord. Would you want to fail Ishida-dono because you thought you were already fine as you are? Then, you come across something -- especially in a place like this -- that can outwit you? You can't rely on Ishida-dono or Hanbei-sama who isn't even here to think for you, Shima-kun. You have to be your own strategist.

[ why is he even putting in the effort to say this much, it's not like sakon's gonna listen, ugh. he just CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GUY IS A RETAINER. NO WONDER MITSUNARI'S SUCH A FAILURE. ]

[ ugh, sakon got him walloped by mitsunari because he's an idiot and sasuke reaaaaaaaaaaaally does not want to talk to him but whatever. he'll be fine. ]

Shima-kun. I sent a message to Ishida-dono about this but as you know, he might not hear it. Anyway, Mori Motonari is here -- I'm not sure you know him but be careful around him. He will not hesitate to betray you, just as Tokugawa Ieyasu did to Toyotomi Hideyoshi. He's a liar and a snake and--

[ a pause as he tries to figure it out ]

He's like all those ninjas who aren't me!

[ there we go. ]

Make sure Ishida-dono knows this. Thanks, Shima-kun. I mean, after all, us retainers must stick together, right? For the safety of our lords.

[ ugh, he's gonna gag himself. anyway, he hangs up after that. ]

[CALLING BACK BECAUSE THERE IS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION THAT HAS TO BE ASKED-]

Sarutobi-san, if you left this message...

That means you're alive, right.....?

[because he lost track of mitsunari for a bit and HE CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN HIS LORD WAS OUT OF HIS SIGHT]

[ oh my god this guy. it's going to take a bit for sasuke to respond but when he does it's video.

of sasuke's face.

of sasuke's bruised face.

SO HE JUST ANGRILY GLARES AT THE CAMERA, POINTS AT HIS BRUISE, AND THEN HANGS UP. GO AWAY, SAKON. ]

[hi sasuke welcome to phone tag

BECAUSE HE'S CALLING BACK

AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS-]

Oh man, my bad!! Like - really, really my bad!

[ wow this is really happening. he answers, of course, and just throws his hand up in exasperation. ]

Shima-kun! I have other things to deal with right now!

[ HANGS UP AGAIN. ]

[yeah this is happening right now because Sakon is an idiot and

okay well then Sasuke can't be that mad at him then

EVEN IF HE GETS HIS VOICEMAIL, SASUKE'S JUST GOING TO GET A VERY EXUBERANT]

You got this, Sarutobi-san!

And your face doesn't even look that bad!! Don't worry about it!

[ it DID in fact go to voicemail but later, when sasuke hears it, he gets all irrationally mad! HIS FACE WOULDN'T LOOK BAD IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.

so he calls sakon back just to say this. ]

My face would be fine if it wasn't for you, Shima-kun! You don't send your lord after people for no good reason, that's not fair!

[ AND THEN HE HANGS UP. AGAIN. ]

[sakon has no idea how he's so busy that all of these go to voicemail but WOW THE GUILT IS JUST HITTING HIM ALL OVER AGAIN

SO HEY CALLING BACK]

Aw man, I didn't do it on purpose!! Every time I've gotten scuffed up before, Mitsunari-sama couldn't get to the guy who did it-

So I guess I...

Forgot?

..... Really though, I'm sorry about your face. Not that it's a bad face!! Just worse off than usual, I guess.

[and he doesn't really want to hang up????

but that seems to be what this conversation is like?

so yeah alright hanging up because peer pressure]

[ sasuke screens sakon's calls.

but wait a second. sakon, that's really irresponsible of you! sasuke is going to point out that that's irresponsible of you!

... calls back. ]

You should remember things like that, Shima-kun! Don't you realize how dangerous Ishida-dono is? What if he killed me instead! Then I'd be dead because you decided to complain about me for warning you in the maze?! What kind of logic is that!

[ UGH. ]

And my face is always great!

[ HANGS UP. ]

[phone tag here we go

calling back!!]

I knoooow, but I mean - it was just me and Mitsunari-sama and Sanada-san for like... ever! Basically forever. [a couple months, actually] But Mitsunari-sama wouldn't have killed you! You're still our ally, after all. Mitsunari-sama's waaaaay more fair than that.

He'd probably only kill you if you killed me. [ . . . ] Soooo, let's avoid that.

[also because he's sakon-]

It's a pretty good face, I guess. Better when you're not wearing that face armor thing. That just looks kinda funky.

[hanging up!]

Edited (html is hard) 2014-07-21 00:17 (UTC)

[ wait wait wait what.

calls... back... ]

I'd really really like to see where exactly Ishida-dono's "fairness" begins and ends, Shima-kun. Are we talking an eye for an eye here or actual, sensible fairness?

[ because seriously. ]

Wha-- It's because I travel in trees, you... [ god damnit now he can't call him an idiot because mitsunari might hit him again. ]

Ugh!

[ FURIOUSLY HANGS UP again. ]

[wow an opportunity to talk about mitsunari i wonder if sakon will call him back]

Well! There are a couple of exceptions like traitors will be killed immediately - but that's for both me and Mitsunari-sama. Also if you talk bad about the Toyotomi and Hanbei-sama and Hideyoshi-sama then man, I can't help you. .... but past that, Mitsunari-sama doesn't really care about a lot. [shrugging!!

it's a weird sense of fair, sort of, but honestly just avoid trigger buttons and-] So long as you're our ally and don't tell us lies or anything, Mitsunari-sama probably won't kill you. [probably]

Wouldn't your hair cause you more trouble if you travels in trees though? Wouldn't it be more effective if you just cut it? Have you ever gotten tangled in a branch before?

[CURIOSITY

casually hangs up]

What? This thing has voicemail, but still no text? Seriously?

[ Okay, okay, so maybe he's checking on his supposed ancestor. Don't read anything into it, Sakon! He's just being curious, that's all it is!

It's not like he's actually worried about his own continued existence or anything. Honest. ]

Uh, right. Hey, it's Renzou. Lemme know if your duel thing ever panned out in the end, all right? Although I guess you'd have come back to life even if it hadn't, huh...

[you're totally worried about him. or at least about your bloodline and he totally likes the sound of that!!]

Yo, Renzou-kun! Haha, yeah I managed to edge out a win! No surprise there though, 'cause I can definitely be really cool sometimes! {A pause and then a very smug-] You worried about me?

Just wondering.

[ The rest of his bloodline could go, but he's not quite ready to!!! ]

But that's great! [ And then there's a pause, followed by: ] Well, kind of. Considering the whole killing part of it, ahaha... ha...

[ Aria's taken to wandering around a little more than usual, though she doesn't stray far. She's still back every night, still always game to scoot over to make room for Sakon, back to her usual smiling self.

But she's been thinking, and she'll finally bring it up-- not on top of Sakon (yet) but on her back beside him, toes pointed and arms above her head in a languorous stretch. ]

Do you think Mitsunari would take a student?

Aw, you're still sweating it about that?

[He's just going to wave a hand in response, ridiculously unconcerned about the whole deal.]

Nah, the guy that I fought was super chill! He agreed to my terms and everything. He was fun to fight too! I think we're gonna get along great when I meet him again.

[The question earns his interest and he's just about to turn in for bed, but any mention of Mitsunari is pretty good at getting him to wake up again. So he's just going to move to crawl on top of Aria because she made it way too easy.]

Probably not.

[Oh.]

Mitsunari-sama doesn't really have that kind of patience, after all. But I mean, if you really want to learn something from him.... he'd probably at least listen to your request?

[ She doesn't even mind, stretched out comfortably beneath him as she blinks up at him. ]

I guess listening is a good start... it's better than me not trying at all.

Edited 2014-07-28 01:44 (UTC)

What were the odds you'd find someone who'd even agree to such a thing...

[ It's more a statement than a question. ]

Well, s'long as you're fine, I guess that's all I wanted to know.

IC ✦ Voicemail

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audio; during his thread with motonari

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voicemail!

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