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IC ✦ Voicemail
[Let's keep it short and simple-]
Hey, hey! Guess I'm doing important stuff but if you think your stuff is important too, tell me what it is and we can flip a coin.
See ya!
[beep!]
[ooc: action tags also welcome! seriously just ram into him or he's apartment 7.1]
Hey, hey! Guess I'm doing important stuff but if you think your stuff is important too, tell me what it is and we can flip a coin.
See ya!
[beep!]
[ooc: action tags also welcome! seriously just ram into him or he's apartment 7.1]
audio; during his thread with motonari
Shima-kun. I sent a message to Ishida-dono about this but as you know, he might not hear it. Anyway, Mori Motonari is here -- I'm not sure you know him but be careful around him. He will not hesitate to betray you, just as Tokugawa Ieyasu did to Toyotomi Hideyoshi. He's a liar and a snake and--
[ a pause as he tries to figure it out ]
He's like all those ninjas who aren't me!
[ there we go. ]
Make sure Ishida-dono knows this. Thanks, Shima-kun. I mean, after all, us retainers must stick together, right? For the safety of our lords.
[ ugh, he's gonna gag himself. anyway, he hangs up after that. ]
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Sarutobi-san, if you left this message...
That means you're alive, right.....?
[because he lost track of mitsunari for a bit and HE CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN HIS LORD WAS OUT OF HIS SIGHT]
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of sasuke's face.
of sasuke's bruised face.
SO HE JUST ANGRILY GLARES AT THE CAMERA, POINTS AT HIS BRUISE, AND THEN HANGS UP. GO AWAY, SAKON. ]
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BECAUSE HE'S CALLING BACK
AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS-]
Oh man, my bad!! Like - really, really my bad!
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Shima-kun! I have other things to deal with right now!
[ HANGS UP AGAIN. ]
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okay well then Sasuke can't be that mad at him then
EVEN IF HE GETS HIS VOICEMAIL, SASUKE'S JUST GOING TO GET A VERY EXUBERANT]
You got this, Sarutobi-san!
And your face doesn't even look that bad!! Don't worry about it!
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so he calls sakon back just to say this. ]
My face would be fine if it wasn't for you, Shima-kun! You don't send your lord after people for no good reason, that's not fair!
[ AND THEN HE HANGS UP. AGAIN. ]
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SO HEY CALLING BACK]
Aw man, I didn't do it on purpose!! Every time I've gotten scuffed up before, Mitsunari-sama couldn't get to the guy who did it-
So I guess I...
Forgot?
..... Really though, I'm sorry about your face. Not that it's a bad face!! Just worse off than usual, I guess.
[and he doesn't really want to hang up????
but that seems to be what this conversation is like?
so yeah alright hanging up because peer pressure]
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but wait a second. sakon, that's really irresponsible of you! sasuke is going to point out that that's irresponsible of you!
... calls back. ]
You should remember things like that, Shima-kun! Don't you realize how dangerous Ishida-dono is? What if he killed me instead! Then I'd be dead because you decided to complain about me for warning you in the maze?! What kind of logic is that!
[ UGH. ]
And my face is always great!
[ HANGS UP. ]
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calling back!!]
I knoooow, but I mean - it was just me and Mitsunari-sama and Sanada-san for like... ever! Basically forever. [a couple months, actually] But Mitsunari-sama wouldn't have killed you! You're still our ally, after all. Mitsunari-sama's waaaaay more fair than that.
He'd probably only kill you if you killed me. [ . . . ] Soooo, let's avoid that.
[also because he's sakon-]
It's a pretty good face, I guess. Better when you're not wearing that face armor thing. That just looks kinda funky.
[hanging up!]
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calls... back... ]
I'd really really like to see where exactly Ishida-dono's "fairness" begins and ends, Shima-kun. Are we talking an eye for an eye here or actual, sensible fairness?
[ because seriously. ]
Wha-- It's because I travel in trees, you... [ god damnit now he can't call him an idiot because mitsunari might hit him again. ]
Ugh!
[ FURIOUSLY HANGS UP again. ]
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Well! There are a couple of exceptions like traitors will be killed immediately - but that's for both me and Mitsunari-sama. Also if you talk bad about the Toyotomi and Hanbei-sama and Hideyoshi-sama then man, I can't help you. .... but past that, Mitsunari-sama doesn't really care about a lot. [shrugging!!
it's a weird sense of fair, sort of, but honestly just avoid trigger buttons and-] So long as you're our ally and don't tell us lies or anything, Mitsunari-sama probably won't kill you. [probably]
Wouldn't your hair cause you more trouble if you travels in trees though? Wouldn't it be more effective if you just cut it? Have you ever gotten tangled in a branch before?
[CURIOSITY
casually hangs up]
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Okay, but that still isn't very fair. For instance, what if you don't oppose the Toyotomi but just don't like them very much? Will Ishida-dono attack a person for saying that they dislike Toyotomi Hideyoshi's hair? [ a pause. ] After all, it was kind of bad.
[ except, wait. also not touching the lie thing at all because that's... admitting he's a big fat liar! ]
I'm not cutting my hair! It's fine when I comb it out!
[ he's all bishie and everything. anyway, hangs up. ]
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Do you have something against ponytails? [ . . . and for a second he might sound menacing but then he's just laughing. yeah alright he clearly just does not care] But I mean, if you talk bad about Hideyoshi-sama and Hanbei-sama, then you're still in trouble. That's just where you start to value your own life, right? Pick your battles! Mitsunari-sama's just gonna keep being like that. Temperamental and murderous.
[and he's just going to shrug! but at least.... it's not all blind hero worship. instead it's actually pretty conscious hero worship which might be worse since it's still Mitsunari
now as for Sasuke's hair-]
Do you find twigs stuck in it?
{still curious. also hanging up!]
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I-- Shima-kun! [ don't threaten him over ponytails. ] It was just an example! Also, terrible hair! I expect you to be objective enough to acknowledge it. [ geez. ] But still, I know better than to insult even Toyotomi-dono's hair around Ishida-dono. It's just that if I have to draw a line there, shouldn't you make sure not to send him off to hit people over simple things? You literally just called him temperamental and murderous! Yet you still sent him after me!
[ and it all comes full circle. ]
Not anymore!
[ HANGS UP ]
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Well.... I mean, Hideyoshi-sama's pretty great, I think. [just not as great as mitsunari, ssshhhh no one needs to know that] But it's not like I told him 'Mitsunari-sama, Sarutobi-san was beat me up!' Like, how uncool is that even?!
I just told him that we ran into each other and we scuffled - but you started the scuffle! [ . . . and he used the word 'abusive' but honestly that's such a detail to sakon's mind that he doesn't even remember it] I didn't think he'd get so mad about it! Normally he lets it go if it's just me.... [and he just makes a face] I guess it's another way that Mitsunari-sama's changed.
[a shrug and he hangs up!!
leave it to talking about mitsunari to distract sakon from questioning sasuke's hair some more]
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And yet Ishida-dono has the impression that I did and that I did enough to warrant retaliation in the form of him hunting me down and knocking me around with his sword, huh? Maybe that's not "uncool" to you but it's really uncool to me!
[ SHEESH. ]
All I did was grab you to talk to you, since you were running by so fast! A scuffle? Are you serious?
[ UGHHH THIS JERK.
UP HANGS. ]
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There are easier ways to get my attention, Sarutobi-san - just saying!!
But I said I was sorry! C'mon...! Of all things to hold a grudge over, you pick this?
[HANGING UP.....]
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I grabbed your shirt to stop you! You're the one who took it further.
[ SIGHS. ]
Well, it resulted in me getting hit in the face. I don't really appreciate my face being hit, Shima-kun.
[ ups ups ups ups hangs. ]